Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
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