I just made out with a guy for $7.
I can text with my tongue
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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