So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
