Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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