Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
