My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
