my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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