I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
