You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
