no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
