4 words: hood of his car
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
