after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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