just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
People in love make me want to vomit
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
