I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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