her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
