i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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