escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
