Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
