Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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