Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
