Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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