yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
