did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
