dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
