Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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