Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
