How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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