The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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