the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
