It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
