Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize