He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
