it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
My ATM looks so different sober.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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