He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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