Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
