He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
