mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Is Oprah even human
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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