I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
