I wanna bring you to show and tell
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i will never coherently bang her
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
