At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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