I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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