She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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