when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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