i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
