btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize