He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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