thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Less talking, more tequila
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
