He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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