Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
