why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
