i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
