She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
