Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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