After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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