the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize