i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
