Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
