Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
