two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
