The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
