He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
