I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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