well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He did a backflip because drugs
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