Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
