i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
