I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize