Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
